I was thinking another day that some people believe that happiness comes from external things: material possessions, successful relationships, career achievements or good health.
But true happiness is an internal blissful feeling within you unchangeable by life’s circumstances.
I am not saying that it isn’t good to have those external things, but there are many people who have had those achievements in their lives and they are still not happy. So, if you are looking for the “happy ever after” and are in search of all those things to make you happy, then you will like what I have to share today.
I used to think that I needed a job to make me happy. I used to think that I needed a better car to make me happy. I used to think that I needed a man to make me happy. I used to think that only when I had the house of my dreams I would be happy…
And on and on and on… only when I had kids, then only when the kids grow up… then only when I get divorced… then only when
I get married again! .. Then, only when I get that promotion, etc… It was really insane!
It’s a common belief that happiness must be an event, or a situation to satiate our desire for the love we don’t have. Someone please compliment me! Someone please give me a job! Give me a birthday party or tell me that I am important! Someone please love me!
Perhaps just like me in the past, you are waiting for happiness to knock at your door. You may be feeling hostage of a non-resolved relationship, hoping that it would change. Or, you may think you don’t have what it takes… or you often say that you are not ready for love. Perhaps you may think you are too old for your dreams, or that you are not enough. You beat yourself up and think that somehow you should be more, do more, be better, and you don’t measure up in your own mind.
The truth is that we lose ourselves as we grow up. As children, we know about self-love and peace, but we are like sponges taking in our environment on an emotional level. We learn very early that if Mommy and Daddy are happy then we will be happier too and get more of that love we need: “When Mommy is happy, she will play with me and spend time with me.” “When Daddy is not mad, he will be nicer to all of us.”
So, as we grow up and love is not there, guess what we do? We try to fix it by trying to be a better and better kid, and some kids may also try the opposite and act out to get their parents to focus on them… We learn from our parents that love is “conditional” and that happiness is an event.
For example: Let’s say a parent tells the kid that only if she has good grades she will have a birthday party. So, what do you think the kid will feel like if she doesn't have good grades and therefore not have a birthday party? She must conclude: I’m a bad girl. Bad girls have to work hard to be happy. Perhaps I don’t deserve to be happy. Perhaps I'm condemned to never be loved! I’m not good enough to be loved. With that kind of thought we may attract abusive relationships, abandonment, betrayal, etc...
You must realize that our parents did the best they could at their level of awareness. They did not know unconditional love, because they were simply repeating what their parents also taught them. Bottom line, your expectations from people or events will never fulfill you in long term.
So, we “learn” from our parents and society that we need to behave in a certain way to be loved and when we grow up, we get lost in relationships because we replay what we learned in early ages. These feelings get berried in our sub-conscious mind, and we don’t know how to deal with this…
It’s like as if we lost love… So, we look for it in all wrong places! Some people will look for it in a bottle of wine, in a box of chocolate, or in spending money buying expensive things. Others will get lost trying to find it in drugs or in sexual addiction.
Really the truth of the matter is that happiness can only flourish through within, and to find true happiness you must learn how to connect with this internal feeling of love.
If you just look at life as you look at a movie, then you will realize that life is a creative process. Life is an unfolding of events that happen just as you believe you deserve (or don't).
Do you feel this internal love? Do you believe you deserve love?
Then you will resonate with love energy and it will always be present in your life. Events and situations are a reflection of how we feel inside.
If you don’t feel love, or if you don’t believe you can be loved, then you won’t. But, it's possible to create love in your life. You bring it by nourishing the love that is inside of you without the need to have an object of attention to trigger it.
Really? You may say…
Well, I know how you feel because as it turns out, I was also shocked when I realized that we create our lives. At first it confused me that I was creating the very thing I was terrified about. How come? How can I create those bad things for myself?
Successful people actually have a different view. It wasn’t until I realized that I had to change the way I thought regarding love and happiness that I turned everything around and found the true meaning of happiness.
Being happy doesn’t mean that you won’t have bad days. Bad days are like a storm passing by… That’s another story! Being happy doesn’t mean you won’t ever be sad, because life has its ups and downs. But being sad one day or another does not mean that you are not happy. That's an aspect of being human and it's a privilege to experience a varierity range of emotions. Emotions are our guiding system. I call them our internal GPS. They show us when to go straight, when to turn left or right, or all the way around! Emotions make us alive!
But, speaking of emotions, if you just notice how much time you spend ruminating on past hurts, fears and resentments... you would want to learn how to stop this terrible habity right away! This is what create destructive energy in your life, attracting toxic people and situations that lock you in misery.
It's about taming the mind. It's not easy, but it can be done with practice and discipline.
Then, your life will change like magic just as it continues to happen to me. It was only when I embraced the practices that I now share in my training program, that I began to attract all that I want and desire: my dream home, my jeep in the garage, and my awesome man who wants to marry me!
Although I love having those things,
I am not attached or depending on these events or things to be happy. Happiness lives inside of me. It’s like a feeling of an eternal honeymoon, mentioned by
Dr. Bruce Lipton in his latest book:
“The Honeymoon Effect
The Science of Creating Heaven on Earth”.
I now know that I create my life. I am mindful about my thoughts and actions, and I am intentional about my desires. It’s about matching up with the energy frequency of love.
In his book "Power Versus Force", Doctor David Hawkins talks about feelings and their energy vibration. Just like a radio station, your thoughts broadcast energy vibrations that tune in with people and events that calibrate on the same frequency. I use Dr Hawkins' system to help my clients move through their energy blocks.
If you are afraid you are not a vibrational match to attract love into your life. Love and fear do not occupy the same space. You are either in love or in fear. Just like darkness and light. You can't have both at the same time. Understand?
So, how to ignite inner happiness? How to calibrate your feelings to atract what you really desire? How to be in love without the need of a trigger: a subject, a person or an external event to make you happy? This requires clarity and commitment to a practice.
That’s exactly what I teach in my online programs and my retreats in Sedona.
Sedona is an amazing place for transformation! Together we can create a plan for you to let go of what's not serving you, learn how to feel happy from inside out, and how to consciously create the life you want to live.
You must learn how to let go of what is not serving you and commit to discover your "internal love". It’s from that space that you will encounter true happiness.
By the way, I am super happy - from inside and out!
I am sharing with you a picture of my engagement in Greece (up above) and photos of Bruce taking my measurements for my wedding dress.
Yes, I am happy! But I was already happy before, and this is the cherry on the cake!
In this epidemic time, Bruce and I are thinking about a creative plan for a virtual wedding: Save the date May 8, 2021.
I hope my life story will inspire you to create the life story of your dreams, but remember, it all starts within.
Everything you wish is possible!
Rosane Gibson CPC, ELI-MP
Online Course in English
Curso Online em Portuguese
Retreat in Sedona